Is It Just Me?

No one ever told me that being a mom is a daily rollercoaster of emotions. There are highs and lows and moments when I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and also moments when the ride is over and I want to go again.

I guess what I’m looking for is someone to confirm that it’s totally normal to want to bang your head against the wall because the baby is incessantly whining from the confines of her high chair because she feels she’s ready to feed herself when really if she gets the correct end of the spoon in her mouth it’s only by coincidence. (She’s got to learn sometime though, right?) At the end of the meal Mummy has an even bigger mess to clean up because someone insisted she knew how to eat oatmeal, but whatever to keep her from making that god-awful noise for 45 minutes. Or when she won’t stay still long enough for me to get a clean diaper on her. She flips over before I even have the old one off. It’s like wrestling a badger.

But then there are moments when she thinks me tickling her neck is the funniest thing in the world. She belly laughs like an old fat man before squealing with delight. I feel the rush and adrenaline as the coaster zooms down the hill, my stomach rising into my throat before shooting back down to my toes. It’s the best feeling in the world. I want to stay in that moment all day, but it’s over just as quickly as it started and I have to get back in line again. Trudging my way to the front, waiting through some more whining and crying before I get to that elusive moment of sheer joy.

It’s definitely all worth it.

Screaming Baby On Board

A wailing baby is a valid reason for speeding (not to mention other infractions when driving)! I haven’t gotten a ticket yet (knock on wood) but there have been times when I’ve gone from Driving Miss Daisy to Evil Knievel in 60 seconds or less. When your child is screaming bloody murder from the confines of her car seat just a few inches from your head, it’s not easy to block her out. As a side note, I’m pretty sure cranking up the radio to drown her cries is frowned upon in the parenting handbook.

Yellow lights are met with a burst of speed instead of braking and corners are cut a little sharper than normal…whatever to get you home and her out the quickest! I’m not proud of this, but it’s the truth. I usually pride myself on being a super safe driver especially since having my daughter, but sometimes a lead foot is necessary.

There is a solution. New parents should be issued a pink or blue siren for the roof of their cars which magnifies their child’s screams so the world can hear what Mummy or Daddy is dealing with.

A baby on board sticker won’t cut it! Baby meltdowns are enough to make even the safest, most cautious driver break the rules. It’s a truth serum of sorts because I would reveal my deepest, darkest secrets to make the crying stop. These sirens wouldn’t work unless the baby was screaming so parents couldn’t abuse it.

Where do I sign up?

Most of the time, I’m able to plan outings accordingly so baby doesn’t have a meltdown, but there are the rare occasions that she’s tired or hungry which will always trigger a screamfest and frazzled nerves for Mummy. No matter how many times you tell her calmly that we’re almost home, she only screams louder. Until I get my siren, I guess I’ll have to remember to slow down, stop at yellow lights, and try my best to soothe my tiny road-rager without losing my cool.