MARCH’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Otherwise known as Sofia on the classic show, Golden Girls. She had all the best one-liners and was the heart of the show. Sure, they were all great in their own way: Blanche for her slutiness, Rose for her stupidity, and Dorothy for her wit, but Sofia was the voice of reason through it all. She said what we all thought and didn’t miss a beat. She was so funny on this show that I can forgive her for making Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot with Sylvester Stallone.

FEBRUARY’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Even though she’s not a “real” person, she still holds a special place in my heart and deserves some recognition. Family Guy wouldn’t be anything without the character of Lois. She’s sarcastic, smart, and a little saucy. She’s married to a buffoon, her child wants to annihilate her, and she has to deal with Quagmire trying to get into her pants–all the normal struggles of a SAHM. Thanks for the millions of laughs, Lois!

JANUARY 2014’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

As a child of the 80’s, I love The Goldbergs.  I feel like I’m reliving my childhood even though I didn’t grow up on Long Island and my dad usually kept his pants on when he walked in the front door. I look forward to the 10 second home video footage played at the end of the show almost as much as the actual episode because it could easily have been my own family’s footage. What I love more than anything though is the character of Beverly Goldberg played by Wendi McLendon-Covey known for her hilarious roles on Reno 911! and Bridesmaids. She is the heart of The Goldbergs and I find myself cracking up at everything she says, does, and most importantly, wears! She sports some amazing jumpsuits and shoulder pads.

Although Wendi isn’t a “Mummy” in real life, her portrayal as Beverly Goldberg is enough for me to overlook that minor detail. I look forward to lots more laughs!

 

APRIL 2013’s MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

My own Mummy is probably disappointed that I picked her for April because she never got over the way she sang the National Anthem at that baseball game back in the 90’s, but I think she’s funny and her show was entertaining and I’m sure if I saw it now I’d appreciate it in a whole new light. She was ballsy and unapologetic for her humor–two things I think female comedians need. Now I think she’s living in Hawaii on a macadamia nut farm so it just goes to show we never know where we might end up but if we’re still laughing, then it hardly matters!

MARCH’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Just hearing her voice usually makes me laugh. She’s not known for the most thought-provoking movies and probably won’t be nominated for an Academy Award anytime soon, but she’s great at what she does and that’s making me laugh in movies like The Hot Chick and Just Friends and her small role in Lost in Translation. She’s married to the guy who plays Andy on Parks and Rec so I’m sure their household is a laugh a minute for their son, Jack. Welcome to the ‘hood…motherhood, that is!

FEBRUARY’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Or who you probably know as Lily on How I Met Your Mother or the red-headed girl who famously quipped, “And one time at band camp…” in the American Pie series, forever changing the way we think about flutes. She’s quirky and plays the funny best friend role perfectly. In real life, she has two little girls (just like yours truly) so I’m sure she’s had her “funny mummy” moments and I think I found one of them in the photo below. I’m happy to welcome her to the club because anyone who can deliver a line about putting a musical instrument where the sun don’t shine has wonderful comedic timing for sure!

  JANUARY’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

She might not be the obvious choice for Funny Mummy, but I find her funny and I’m so happy for her that she’s in the Mummy club now. After going through all she went through with breast cancer and trying to conceive, she deserves all the blessings a baby brings. She has me laughing as one of Joan’s sidekicks on Fashion Police and she makes me chuckle on her adorable show with hubby Bill Rancic (if their cuteness doesn’t want to make you barf rainbows, then you’re not human!) And I love that she chopped off her lovely ladylocks once becoming a mummy! She’s officially one of us now!

DECEMBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

When I started this blog, I had no idea who Erma Bombeck was. I thought I’d heard her name before but I think I was confusing her with Willa Cather or some other writer…poet? Ezra Pound? I don’t know. But what I know now is that I LOVE Erma Bombeck! She’s become my writing mentor because whenever I read her I see myself on the pages, in her words and stories about marriage, children, and life. Her writing is timeless and so funny. I’ve been putting off making her a Mummy-of-the Month because I wanted to read more of her books before I did, but I can’t put it off any longer. She’s beyond great and I’m so glad that a friend introduced me to her! Go out and pick up anything she’s written, you won’t be sorry!

NOVEMBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

She started off playing a raunchy blonde bimbette on MTV’s Singled Out smacking around young college dudes on a dating gameshow and turned into a bona fide Funny Mummy and author of many humorous books on motherhood. I’ve read two of them Belly Laughs and Baby Laughs and each had me giggling and nodding in agreement. I loved reading that even as an former Playboy model, she gained a lot of weight and didn’t even want to look at her post-baby body in the mirror. She’s honest and silly–the kind of gal you’d love for a friend and you know she’d tell it to you like it is. Keep the books coming, Jen!

OCTOBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

This Funny Mummy has accomplished so much in her life that she was the obvious choice for October. First off, she has 5 children, so that alone is a feat worth acknowledging. Then there are the countless awards she’s won and shows she’s been on. Right now she’s making me laugh as Maw Maw on the loveable sitcom, Raising Hope. Forget that cute little blonde girl, Cloris is the wacky, hilarious heart of the show. Always willing to go topless and show off her Grand-Mummy brassiere, she never disappoints. Thanks for all the laughs, this Mummy needs it these days.

SEPTEMBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Yes, this photo is from her pre-Mummy days, but it’s from the time I came to know her and love her. Currently she’s on what might be the worst show ever, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, a show that’s so over-the-top awful that it might be genius…nah. It’s Molly’s Brat Pack status and her past performances in all things Hughes that made me fall in love with her so long ago and why she’s made me the Funny Mummy that I am. So thanks for selling your underwear to a geek in Sixteen Candles and for having a best friend named Duckie in Pretty in Pink.

AUGUST’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Where do I start? She’s been around forever bashing celebrity fashion on the red carpet and telling it like it is since the dawn of time. She has a brutually honest approach that you either love or hate or hate to love. Any way you look at it, she’ s got chutzpa and loads of it! I’m sure she’s done many things in her long career but I’m only familiar with a handful like her role in Spaceballs as the lovable robot Dot and her current gig as host and leader of the “Joan Rangers” on Fashion Police. She says some pretty shocking things and that’s one of the reasons why I love her. I might have to pick up her latest book, I Hate Everyone…Starting With Me. Sounds like something I’d like. Keep making us cover our mouths in shock, Joanie!

JULY’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

As one of TV’s funniest mummies out there right now, Julie Bowen who plays Claire Dunphy on Modern Family shall not go unmentioned. She’s Lucy-esque in her hijinks and facial expressions and I just can’t get enough! As a Mummy to 3 boys with 2 of them being twins, she’s definitely earned her badge and then some. Let’s not forget her prior work of Carol Vessey on Ed and the reporter with terrible mom hair in Happy Gilmore. Good work you Funny Mummy!

JUNE’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Although she’s on her own now without her trusty sidekick, Reeg, she’s still funnier than ever! I’ve had a Mummy crush on her for awhile and it’s not going anywhere. She seems like a lot of fun to hang out with and a great Mummy to boot. I love that she refers to her oldest son as “The One Who Shall Not Be Named” because he’s a teenager now and hates to be mentioned on TV (life’s so rough, huh kid?!). She’s not afraid to poke fun at herself and has no shame sharing what’s it like to be a Mummy to 3. Thanks for the laughs, Pipa!

MAY’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

While I can’t say anything about Whoopi recently as I don’t watch The View (can’t take Barbara Walters for more than 2 seconds) I have to admit that I love her performances in Sister Act and Ghost. She has impeccable timing as a comedian and also that unabashed charm that lets her get away with saying some things other people couldn’t get away with saying.

Welcome to the club, Whoop!

APRIL’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Bethenny is a breath of fresh air in a politically overcorrect world! Her outspoken and “ballsy” personality is inspiring and is the stuff of a true Funny Mummy! She’s not afraid to tell it like it is — something I aspire to (but doubt I’ll ever be that fearless). She created an empire with Skinny Girl margaritas, and while she’s in much better shape than any Mummy has a right to be, I’m not mad at her. It’s great to see her interacting with her daughter as I go through some of the same things with mine. Cheers to you, Mummy!

MARCH’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Where did March even go? Since February was so short and I was such a slacker in February, I decided to give my Mummy the month of March too. (No, it’s not cause I was too lazy…yes, yes it is.)

FEBRUARY’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

February is my “Mummy’s” birthday month and I thought who better to hold the title than that stone cold fox in the above photo? But unfortunately I’m a lot late getting this done and the month is almost over but lucky for her it’s a leap year so she gets one extra day. So here’s to you Mama for always making me giggle and for not killing me for putting these pictures on here. (Don’t worry no one ever looks here!) I love you so much and wouldn’t be who I am without you.

JANUARY’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

My apologies to Ms. Rudolph for waiting so long to announce her crowning achievement…doesn’t mean I love you any less. Maya is truly a riot! From her Oprah-esque character Ava on Up All Night to all her old SNL bits, not to mention what has now become a classic, Bridesmaids. When you’re playing a character who takes a public dump in a wedding dress in the middle of the street, you know you’ve finally arrived! Thanks for making us laugh so hard we cry.

DECEMBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

With her fiery red hair and crazy antics, Lucy was destined to be a Funny Mummy! As old as I Love Lucy is, it still makes me laugh. There are too many classic episodes to count. The one where she stuffs her mouth with chocolates off the conveyor belt. Or the one where she’s a spokeswoman for Vitameatavegemin. Or the one where Lucy jumps to conclusions, shenanigans ensue, and she feels sheepish…oh wait, that’s ALL of them! The funniest thing about that show might be that she and Ricky slept in separate beds. How the times have changed!

I can’t wait to share the comedy of Lucille Ball with my daughter. She’s sure to love all of her hijinks, just like I did (and still do)!

NOVEMBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

Who wouldn’t love Amy Poehler for their Mummy? I bet she makes milk come out of her sons’ noses all the time. She has one of those faces that makes me laugh all by itself…not that she’s funny looking (she’s cute as a button) but she’s great at cracking jokes with just one look. From her days as “Amber” on SNL — the girl who “rocked one leg” and said jealous after she farted, to her current character Leslie Knope on my beloved Parks and Rec, there is no shortage of laughter when she’s on screen.

And let’s not forget her role as the “cool mom” on Mean Girls and the surrogate who pees in the sink in Baby Mama. It’s no wonder since she’s Tina Fey’s cohort in comedic crime that everything she touches turn to gold! Her sons Archie and Abel are 2 lucky lil dudes (especially with Will Arnett making them laugh too)! Must be onefunnyhousehold!!

OCTOBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

I’ve loved Christina Applegate long before she became a Mummy herself. From her days as the hilarious blond bimbo Kelly on Married With Children to her comical portrayal of Veronica Corningstone in Anchorman to the teen-turned-mom Sue Ellen in Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead. She has been making us laugh for quite some time! Now she’s in a new sitcom, Up All Night. It is the perfect show for any new Mummy (and Daddy). As a new mom herself to daughter, Sadie Grace, I’m sure the weekly episodes hit close to home. I know they do for me and the hubby! Here’s hoping the show sticks around for awhile…it’s like therapy for me.

SEPTEMBER’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

One of my mom’s favorite comedians is Carol Burnett…a classic funny mummy who I’d like to honor this month! A comedic veteran, she has done it all, making us laugh along the way. A mom to 3 daughters, I’m sure she’s had her moments of parental insanity and hilarious adventures. She starred in The Carol Burnett Show which was a SNL-type show. A famous skit poking fun at Scarlett O’Hara’s character in Gone With the Wind is an all-time classic.

If it weren’t for funny mummies like Carol Burnett, the world might never have been introduced to the Tina Fey’s of comedy! Tres tragic!! So thanks Carol, for paving the way!

AUGUST’S MUMMY-OF-THE-MONTH

 Our first “Mummy-of-the-Month” is one of my favorite comediennes, Ms. Tina Fey. She’s so clever and hilarious! Looking for a laugh-out-loud read? Grab her book BossyPants…it will have you howling with laughter! She’s a mom to daughter Alice and a soon-to-be new bundle. She’s a superwoman & supermom for making us laugh week after week as Liz Lemon on 30 Rock. Love love her!

Here is Tina’s high-larious “prayer for my daughter” It is so true and I’m going to memorize and say it every night before bed! Enjoy!

First, Lord: No tattoos.May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey