Toddlers Are the Devil’s Spawn

devil child

This is the title that was orbiting my brain all day yesterday. Needless to say, it was a bad day.

But today is a great day! Mainly because my two-year-old is on her way to becoming potty-trained and (knock on wood) it’s been pretty painless so far!

Out of the blue, she told me she had to go pee so I put her on the toilet in my bathroom and she went! Like she had been doing it all her life. I freaked out, starting praising her up and down and spinning circles like a dog when he sees the treat jar. I was ecstatic! So I full-on committed to no diapers except at naptime and bedtime. Talk about scary! It’s like handling a hair-trigger grenade except when this one explodes it’s pee and poop.

Just fifteen minutes before this miraculous event, I was in the shower wishing I could spank the snot out of my little darling because she decided she needed to scream as loud and high-pitched as she could for no damn reason. Mind you, I’m trying to get in and out of the shower as quickly as possible while the little one is sound asleep and in the confines of her crib. It’s not enough that I set her up in my room with her favorite cartoon on, a cup of milk, and even crackers to keep her happy. I came barreling out of the shower, my blood boiling and informed my daughter that we don’t scream like that while her sister is sleeping…or ever. I wanted to pull out all of my hair and all of hers. Then she turned around a few minutes later and filled me with so much pride, erasing my anger.

While she’s not always easy to deal with or discipline, she’s been pretty good when it comes to everything else. So I guess I can’t really complain, but why stop what I’ve always been good at?

She took really well to her big girl bed, with moving, with having a sister and now learning to use the potty. All the major things. It’s just when she’s having her tenth meltdown of the day and I’m working with four hours of broken sleep and a demanding, whining 9-month-old that I start to wish I had a full-time job doing anything else.

Then I start thinking of all the things I’d be missing and it makes me sad. The way she and her sister chase each other, crawling around the kitchen island and their squeals of laughter. The way the big one will sit and read to us as if she’s the librarian at story hour. The way the little one looks at the big one like she knows she’s her sister already and loves every single thing about her. These are my favorite moments.

Why can’t these moments happen more than the blood-boiling moments? These are the moments that my mom says keep you going. And she’s totally right. Cause if it weren’t for these things, these two would be orphans by now.

Another milestone I would’ve missed: her first poopy in the potty. While this might not sound like something anyone would want to witness or remember, it made me giddy. Crazy, that you become a parent and another human being pooping in a plastic potty chair can make you elated. Now that’s jacked up!

At least I didn’t take a picture of it, like the hubby asked. I was too busy trying to make sure her baby sister didn’t grab ahold of it! But boy was I impressed!

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2 thoughts on “Toddlers Are the Devil’s Spawn

  1. I try not to focus on the negative, but when my son is screaming at the top of his lungs in his brother’s face, for no apparent reason, the negative slaps me in the face. Hard to ignore.

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    • The terrible twos is living up to its name in our household. I’ve heard from some people that the threes are even harder and I’m hoping with all my might that they’re not for us because I don’t know how I’ll make it through….lots of wine, I’m guessing. Thanks for reading!

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