Food is my Heroin

Posted in Babies, Comedy, Daughters, Family, Humor, Parenting by

Remember the days when you could eat anything you wanted, skip the gym, and still only have one chin?

Yeah, I don’t either.

Oprah and I have one thing in common: food is our drug of choice! Not alcohol (though I do love a glass of champagne) not crack (it is whack after all) but food–delicious, comforting food.

The hubby and I are both afflicted with the love of eating. So much so that I pray we don’t end up on The Biggest Loser Couples in 5 years. Who am I kidding? In 2 years. I would seriously cry if that overly toned Jillian Michaels was screaming at me to “Just say no to doughnuts.” It’s not like I eat them on the reg, just when I deserve a treat. Which, come to think of it, is all the time. Doesn’t she know that raising a baby is hard work?

Doughnuts are the devil!

That’s the whole problem. I think I deserve some sort of pick-me-up when the day is a particularly trying one (or the night was an extra sleepless one). A cookie here or mini-Coke there. Just a little hit of something sweet to take the edge off.

I love all the studies that say junk food is as addictive as drugs. The hubby and I joke that we’re cursed with a disease. But really the only disease we have is laziness. We know it, we just don’t want to acknowledge it. Before the baby, I was confident I would return to the gym with the same dedication I had when I was only 2 months along. The baby weight didn’t stand a chance against me and that elliptical machine, or so I thought. I have yet to step foot in a gym 8 months postpartum. There’s just no time. Or motivation.

Until now. I’m going to junk food rehab. The only way to do it is to shift my addiction to something else: shoes. For every 10 pounds I lose, I get a new pair of shoes. And not the cheapies from Tar-jay I normally buy. Good ones from an actual department store.

Oh, to be fat and happy, eh Oprah?

12 thoughts on “Food is my Heroin”

  2. Well since we’re on the topic of addiction: Hello, my name is Kasey and yes, I too LOVE food!!!
    Ugh! Just this morning on the way to work I was thinking about throwing yoga back into my routine b/c let’s face it the momma figure can get out of control rather quickly- and at the rate I”m going sooner than later. :o)

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    • I need to get back into yoga too! I used to go at least once a week when I was pregnant and I’ve only been twice since having my daughter. I’m in desperate need of some namaste. Thanks for your confession. And nice to mee you, Kasey : )

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  3. I recently have decided to kick the sweets too.. Well, most of them anyhow… I went from sickly to healthy, fat and happy.. haha.. believe it or not, but I’ve put on over 30 lbs!! And I have no child to point the finger at.. just the delicious babies that I eat.. and by babies I mean SWEETS!!! Well, my bottle of water is summoning me… bah,

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  6. So true. I packed the weight on going through fertility treatments, not just because of the hormones (but that helped, I’m sure), but because ice cream was my drug of choice.

    Now, I’ve banned ice cream from the house. It’s a small change, but I had to do it. It’s taking way too long to lose the pre and post baby weight. All those celeb moms make us look bad too.

    Food is always going to be a part of my life. It’s a wonderful pleasure. But, it’s not going to be my drug.

    This blog is funny, truthful, and so relatable. Good to know I’m not alone.

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