Pinteresting, Very Pinteresting

I could blame my lack of blogging on chasing around my 17 month old toddler or I could blame it on my lack of creativity because baby brain has officially taken over, but I’m going to blame it on Pinterest. I’m a little behind in joining the craze, but now that I have, I see what all the fuss is about. It’s like window shopping without any kind of budget or guilt, loading up my online shopping cart with everything my little heart desires only never pressing proceed to checkout. I can “pin” and “repin” all sorts of pictures of outfits, dream homes, recipes, and accessories all the livelong day and not spend one cent (the hubby loves this part of it).

It should be called Greediest though as I want almost everything I see. Good thing I’m not a shopaholic or else this would be like crack cocaine.

So for those who don’t know what Pinterest is, it’s basically an online bulletin board of anything and everything you could ever want. It keeps all the things you like in one place so you can daydream and wish upon a star that you had enough money and time to actually attain any of it. It’s really sort of depressing in a way. Sure it’s great for recipes because that’s stuff you might actually use in real life, but the photos of faraway places and million dollar kitchens is just a fantasy and always will be. Makes me a little sad and adds to this fog of denial that I’ve been living in for…oh, probably my whole life.

Somehow seeing everything I’ve pinned in one place is enough though. It’s my 50 Shades of Grey, so to speak (no, I haven’t read the book…yet). It completely takes over my brain and enslaves me. I can’t help but look at my boards throughout the day and pin things I just have to have. Like that dress I could never pull off or those shoes that would collect dust in my closest.

Really, it’s nothing like 50 Shades of Grey. It’s probably the antithesis of it because it’s like shopping abstinence and we all know there was no abstaining of any sort in that book.

Guess I’ll keep enjoying my new-found addiction until this baby comes along and I have zero time for anything again!

Food is my Heroin

Remember the days when you could eat anything you wanted, skip the gym, and still only have one chin?

Yeah, I don’t either.

Oprah and I have one thing in common: food is our drug of choice! Not alcohol (though I do love a glass of champagne) not crack (it is whack after all) but food–delicious, comforting food.

The hubby and I are both afflicted with the love of eating. So much so that I pray we don’t end up on The Biggest Loser Couples in 5 years. Who am I kidding? In 2 years. I would seriously cry if that overly toned Jillian Michaels was screaming at me to “Just say no to doughnuts.” It’s not like I eat them on the reg, just when I deserve a treat. Which, come to think of it, is all the time. Doesn’t she know that raising a baby is hard work?

Doughnuts are the devil!

That’s the whole problem. I think I deserve some sort of pick-me-up when the day is a particularly trying one (or the night was an extra sleepless one). A cookie here or mini-Coke there. Just a little hit of something sweet to take the edge off.

I love all the studies that say junk food is as addictive as drugs. The hubby and I joke that we’re cursed with a disease. But really the only disease we have is laziness. We know it, we just don’t want to acknowledge it. Before the baby, I was confident I would return to the gym with the same dedication I had when I was only 2 months along. The baby weight didn’t stand a chance against me and that elliptical machine, or so I thought. I have yet to step foot in a gym 8 months postpartum. There’s just no time. Or motivation.

Until now. I’m going to junk food rehab. The only way to do it is to shift my addiction to something else: shoes. For every 10 pounds I lose, I get a new pair of shoes. And not the cheapies from Tar-jay I normally buy. Good ones from an actual department store.

Oh, to be fat and happy, eh Oprah?