Tag Archives: Pregnancy

My #1 Wish

Posted in Babies, Comedy, Daughters, Family, Humor, Parenting by

To stop time or at least be able to pause it like on the awesome 80’s sitcom,      Out of This World. All Evie had to do was touch her index fingers together, and voila, time simply froze. It was only when she clapped her hands like cymbals that time would pick up where it left off. If I had this ability, I could keep my daughter a baby for a little longer because her days as an infant are speeding by. Plus, think of all the laundry and dishes I could get done. Who am I kidding? I’d be sleeping all day and watching reality TV marathons.

In only 10 days, she’ll be 8 months old and I seriously don’t know how that happened. I don’t like using the term literally, but it literally feels like we just celebrated her 7 month milestone. Now I know why people have more babies…to show time who’s boss!

When I was little, our family used to go on an annual trip to a church camp in the mountains. I wasn’t so thrilled about the church part, but man did I love the snow and ice-skating part. 100 days before our departure, I counted down on the dry-erase board in my room. It took f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

It’s weird that you wait and wait an epic 280 day (sometimes longer) countdown when you’re pregnant just to meet your little munchkin. You keep telling yourself that it will be here before you know it, even though it feels light-years away. But then as soon as you pop that sucker out — wham! Time decides to fly by at “ludicrous speed” to quote Spaceballs.

Now that I’m a mom, my life has become a constant deja-vu moment or Groundhog’s Day. It feels like a hazy dream where I know what will happen next. Except that it’s not a dream, she really does need to eat and be changed again. I wish I could go back to when it felt like I had all the time in the world instead of laying in bed at night wondering how another day managed to sneak by.

Whoever said that time flies when you’re having fun is right. My days are so filled up with love and happiness (not to mention monotony and repetition) that time just sort of stopped existing for me. So, in a way, I guess I got my wish. Maybe I should’ve wished for a billion dollars instead!

Chopped Liver

Posted in Babies, Comedy, Daughters, Parenting by

When you have a belly the size of a beach ball and you can’t see your toes any longer, people tend to pamper you. They offer you something to eat or drink every 15 minutes, they pick things up off the ground for you, and they will even let you cut in line at the grocery store. Being pregnant was awesome! The world revolved around me, er, my belly, for 9 months. Every day I woke up feeling like a walking miracle factory.

I had a very easy pregnancy. The only drawback was occasional heartburn which was totally manageable. I could sleep in until 10 and take a nap whenever I wanted and nobody would accuse me of being lazy. In fact, everyone said I needed my rest and encouraged me to rest. Annnnd I was encouraged to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. (Eat your heart out, Oprah).

Then the baby came. My taunt round belly deflated to a flabby balloon and there was no time for sleeping whatsoever. Nobody gave me unsolicited smiles or perks of any kind. Plus, I had to share my baby with the world. Double whammy. She was no longer mine alone.

It’s easy to feel like chopped liver as a new mummy. Nobody is fawning over you anymore, but really they never were. While I had my baby bump, all the attention wasn’t really for me, it was for the life growing inside. Now, I’ll gladly step aside to let my daughter have the spotlight because I know that for the next handful of years I’ll still be numero uno in her eyes. That’s enough to make me feel like filet mignon!