Do As I Say

At one time I was a thirteen-year-old girl who defended the music she listened to by saying she didn’t even know what the lyrics were — that she liked it for the beat.

Ugh, I know this is going to come back to bite me in the ass.

I remember my mom taking away my Vanilla Ice tape (that’s right, cassette) because she didn’t like that he was talking about an 8-ball in one of his songs. An 8-ball…what the hell was that anyway? Something on a pool table, right? She should’ve been more concerned with one of his other songs where he was talking about having sex in the clouds or something. You’d think I’d remember the lyrics since my Bestie and I listened to it over and over writing them down in my unicorn-clad Trapper-Keeper.

Sometime later, my dad heard his baby girl and her same friend sing the word libido to Nirvana’s, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” before getting dropped off at a church function. I still remember him turning down the music inside our Ford Aerostar and asking if I knew what that word meant. Uh no, all I knew was that it rhymed with mosquito. Maybe that’s why Kurt Cobain wrote it? It’s so embarrassing to think of now — how my father must have felt hearing his little girl say something so crass. He was super old-fashioned, yet he always let me listen to whatever crap I wanted.

My Bestie and I are still great friends and often scoff at the garbage we used to listen to: Silk’s “Freak Me”, H-Town’s “Knockin’ Da Boots”, TLC’s “Red Light Special”…all totally inappropriate for young ladies.

These songs didn’t turn us into prostitutes or even make us promiscuous. However I see why our parents wouldn’t want us listening to them being young, impressionable minds and all.

Luckily, my friend and I went on to develop a healthy appreciation for real music…actual musicians who play actual instruments (although we still love to shake what our mama’s gave us).

So I guess when my daughter is blaring some song about Birthday Sex or S &M, I’ll have to think back to my days as a young lass who loved music solely because it made me want to dance. But if I see any booty shaking, I’m taking her iPod away.

I’m Coming Out…

as a closeted Taylor Swift fan! There, I said it — so think what you will. I don’t shop in the junior’s section anymore (teen girls don’t have this much junk in their trunks!), I don’t know what the newest dances are (do kids even remember The Running Man?), and my craziest night of the week is when we order a pizza and watch the new episode of Secrets of a Stylist on HGTV. In other words, not exactly Taylor Swift’s demographic. But I like to think I’m still a young girl at heart — charmed by poetry and romantic ideals about love. Or maybe I’m just becoming an old fuddy-duddy, my music tastes mellowing out with my old age. (The fact that I used the term fuddy-duddy is proof enough that I’m no longer too cool for school. Ugh, I’m full of them.)

I’ve always liked a wide range of music, but this has been my dirty little secret. I was even embarrassed to ask my hubby to get Swift’s music for me. It’s not like I’d go all Kanye on her and try to take away her award or anything as mean, but I wouldn’t exactly admit that she was on my iPod either. But now that I’m a mummy, I might as well own up to all my imperfections.

The first time I heard Swift’s song, “Never Grow Up” I balled my eyes out. Perhaps I could’ve blamed it on my hormonal imbalance being 3 months postpartum, or the sweet strum of the acoustic guitar, or because I was looking into my daughter’s doe eyes while it played in the background…whatever the reason it really hit home. Maybe it reminded me of my past — growing up and realizing all that I put my mother and father through and how at times I still wish I was their little girl being tucked into bed by their loving hands.

There are two ways I could use this song. 1) Save it for my daughter’s wedding and cry my eyes out for her entire father/daughter dance or 2) use the song to punish my daughter when she’s grounded for sneaking out of the house or whatever it is the kids are doing in 2026. She will have to sit and listen to the song on repeat until she realizes that life is simpler when you’re little and she’s in trouble because I love her too much, not because I’m a mean mummy! Looks like I’ll be going with door #2!