Merry Freakin’ Christmas

Christmas came and went, and now my daughter has a cold. Talk about a Merry freakin’ Christmas. Luckily the snot didn’t start pouring till after we opened presents. I should have known she was going to get sick when things started out sorta rocky.

5 o’clock Christmas morning she started squawking in her crib, and I thought to myself, if we get up now there’s no way I’m making it through the rest of the day. But after getting her pacifier back in, she slept till 7. A Christmas miracle!

So of course she had to eat breakfast before we opened presents. Gifts can wait, but a rumbly tumbly can not. And by the time I fed her, my stomach was growling.

We were finally going to open presents when I caught a pungent whiff of poo. Off to the changing table we went (which is an ordeal in itself these days).

The magical time had finally come.

Our bellies were full, the tree was on, the video camera was in place, we’d pulled our stockings from the mantle..and sniff sniff. I still smelled poo. I gave the dogs a dirty look thinking one of them flung a dingleberry on the rug. But then I literally put my finger in it. It was on the foot of her pajamas.

Back to the changing table we went.

Finally, after a clean, poop-free set of jammies was buttoned up and I’d throughly washed my hands, did we open our gifts.


the baby didn’t care one bit.

We were warned this would happen. That she’d be more interested in playing with the boxes than her actual toys. I so badly wanted her to rip into one of the presents and give a big goofy grin that said she loved it and us even more for getting it for her. But I know those days will be here before I know it. Someday soon she’ll be delighting in the idea that Santa is so rich that he can leave $3 for everyone just as I was back in the day. But with inflation, Santa will have to pony up 10 bucks! Sorry dude.

At the end of it all, we had a great first Christmas as our own little family unit. I was overjoyed to share the holiday with our little girl — who is the best gift this Mummy could ever ask for.

6 thoughts on “Merry Freakin’ Christmas

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