She must have been a mom and breastfed her babies until she was left with two deflated balloons on her chest.

I never needed a push-up bra before. But after 10+ months of nursing my daughter, I’m going to need the best push-up bra money can afford to heft these puppies up to a normal longitude (or would it be latitude?) once we’re done.

It’s not like I want to show off some cleavage — I’m not a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. But I’d like for them to be where they’re supposed to be.

I tried on some tops last weekend and wondered how the mirror could show me someone else’s reflection, because that surely wasn’t mine. It couldn’t be! When did my girls take a vacation south? How did I not see it happening? Sure, my baby has literally been sucking the life out of them since day 1, but they never looked this…sad, before.

I pushed them up and together only to have them return to their previous resting places. It’s got to be these nursing bras, I countered. They’re just glorified sports bras, totally lacking any real support. After letting out a huge sigh, I quickly changed back into my own clothes and promptly left the dressing room.

My eye-opening shopping trip got me thinking that my body hasn’t been mine for a long time now. It clearly wasn’t mine when I was housing my little pea, especially when she grew into a watermelon, giving me a Buddha belly and huge ta-tas. And almost a year later, it’s still on loan whenever she demands it…which is fine. I love sharing that bond with her.

I guess I’ll probably never feel like my body is mine again. Because the body I knew before is gone for good — something I have to come to terms with. So, I’ll just have to fake it till I make it. Me and my super duper push-up bra!