It seems by our recent purchase of an SUV, I’m officially in the Mommy Club. Wasn’t expelling a human from my insides enough? I thought to be inducted into the club, you had to be pooped, peed, and barfed on all in one day. Apparently, the ante has been upped! To be a “real” mom, you have to look the part, and a mini-van or an SUV is at the top of that list. But there was no way in hell the hubby and I were going to buy a mini-van. I grew up with vans my whole life and that was where I drew the line. Cars are not meant to have sliding doors capable of hacking off a limb or curtains in the windows. Forget the vans with no windows…we all know what those are called: Chester the Molester vans! (As a side note: Why are they always poop brown or pumpkin orange?)
Driving my suburban mom vehicle does, in fact, make me feel more like a mom. I’ve only had a handful of “you know you’re a mom” moments so far. One was when I used spit to wipe my daughter’s face and another was when I picked a booger out of her nose without any hesitation.
Now that I’m a member of the Soccer Mom Cult, I couldn’t be happier. I love how high the car is, how it feels like I’m maneuvering a tank down the street, taking up the whole road. I know they’re gas guzzlers and not the best for the environment, but it feels safer than our old smaller car. Plus, we have room for all her things when we take a road trip now. There’s nothing like packing for a 2 day trip with a baby. You can’t bring enough stuff!
All my mom ride is missing is a “My Kid is an Honor Roll Student…” bumper sticker. Those stickers are so cheesy and cliché, but you know if my little Einstein brings one home I’ll slap it on there faster than you can say E=mc squared. What a proud Soccer mummy I will be!