When my mom counted to 3 —  she meant business.

I want to be the type of mummy who has no qualms yelling at kids who are doing something wrong. But I haven’t found my “mom” voice yet. Nor have I perfected my “mom” look. You know the one. The one where you nearly crap your pants if  you’ve done something to warrant it.

Last week I was at the library with my niece. She was putting on a very humorous puppet show about a dancing chameleon and a sick frog when a young boy, probably four years old, walked up and stripped the puppet from her hand. My niece was so upset, but she just looked at him like the bully that he was and sulked to herself. I wanted to steal the puppet back from this little tyrant (maybe even whack him on the nose with it like a poorly behaved dog*) but I did nothing. His own mother was sitting nearby, oblivious to his antics. Then I wanted to speak up for my niece, but I couldn’t find any words. Who am I to reprimand someone else’s child? I’d be asking for a beat down in the kid’s section of the public library. It’s not like this mom was Hulk Hogan or anything, but some parents are crazy these days. I wished this boy’s mother would’ve been paying attention and fixed the situation, but she didn’t. So we moved on to the puzzles. But it irked me.

I have this huge block when it comes to telling other people’s kids what to do. (How I substitute taught for 6 months is beyond me!) For some reason I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes or piss off anyone so I usually just freeze like a deer in headlights. It seems I’m intimidated by my own authority. That sounds ridiculous. You would think that from the moment I became a mom I’d be wielding my authority all over the place. Yelling at teenagers driving too fast down our street. Shushing noisy kids in the movie theater. Bitch-slapping anyone smoking near my baby. But no, I can’t even stand up to an ill-mannered 4-year-old. I’m sure I’ll get there…eventually and when I do, watch out all you little heathens!

*onefunnymummy does not condone violence against animals of any kind! : )