Fog of Denial

You would think that my burgeoning belly (and the squirming baby inside) would snuff out this fog of denial that’s been lingering around me for the past 37 weeks, but it hasn’t. Well, it’s starting to as my midsection is so huge now that I can’t see beyond my belly button and every time I pick my daughter up it feels as if my crotch is gonna fall out from under me. These are pretty tell-tale signs along with the never-ending heartburn and mini-earthquakes inside my abdomen that soon I will give birth. But it’s taken nine months to sink in.

Don’t get me wrong, like I’ve said before I’m really excited to be welcoming a new life into our family and I was thrilled from the moment we found out we were expecting, but it all seems a little surreal still. I felt this way with my first so maybe it’s just the norm for me. Not until I’m holding this baby in my arms will it finally occur that I’m a mom to TWO kids!!

As the hubby stares in what is supposed to be awe at my changing physique (all I see is terror), he can’t help but comment, “There’s a baby in there!” Well no shit Sherlock. I wish for one day he could be pregnant and know what it feels like. I’m not complaining, I’m one of those freaks of nature that actually likes being pregnant but it’s something I usually don’t forget about on a daily basis as I’m sure he sometimes did in the beginning and still does. The other comment I love from him is, “Oh my god. We’re having another baby.” It’s these moments when I look at him like, “Duh, welcome to Earth…have we met?” No wonder I walk around in a self-induced fog.

Today the fog of denial was officially lifted. My daughter needed a box of diapers and realizing I didn’t have any for our new arrival (that’s how prepared I am!) I threw in a box of newborns as well. I purchased two boxes of different-sized diapers.

That did it.

Fog gone.

Holy shitballs, we’re having another baby!