One or the Other

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There are few things more stressful than getting kids ready for school in the morning. I’ve even compared it to diffusing a bomb because if one little thing goes wrong, it could blow up the entire day.

From the moment we wake up, the timer on the time bomb starts ticking down until the final minute when we have to be ready with lunches packed, backpacks ready, and out the door. Oh! And then there are the minor details of the kids being fully clothed, fed, and cleaned up too!

The stressful part isn’t all the simple tasks that need to be done, it’s repeating the simple tasks over and over to children who don’t listen. If my kids actually listened maybe it’d be a different story. But no, they wait until I turn from this:

June-Cleaver

pillar of patience

into this:

willow monster

death monster spewing rage

You can’t have a good morning and be on time, it just doesn’t work that way. You must decide which is more important. For me, being on time is important and is the reason why I turn into a lunatic in the last couple minutes before we leave the house. I’m always hopeful that they know I don’t mean the things I say in these last two minutes. They’re not listening anyway, so I think I’m okay.

My good morning starts as soon as I drop them off at school and drive away. That’s when life gets easier for a few short hours, at least, easier in the sense that I’m not breaking up fights, serving snacks left and right, or looking for an obscure toy they haven’t played with in months.

Maybe we have a “good” morning every now and then where everything goes pretty smoothly and we still make it to school on time, but it takes a boatload of effort, not to mention a boatload of coffee. It also takes a lot of biting my tongue and grumbling my string of obscenities walking from one side of the car around to the other while the kids are inside deaf to my cursing. In other words, the stars have to be aligned, not to mention all the socks, shoes, and sweaters too, preferably right by the front door for ease of grabbing as the final countdown hits.

 

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Weird is Good

I was reading to my daughter like we do every night before bed. She interrupted me like she does every night, but this time she said something that caught me off guard.

She said a kid called her weird. She sounded so sad, and for a minute, I was too.

My first reaction was to tell her to ignore this kid, but I paused and tried to think of something better, something that would help her for the next time it happens.

Then it came to me.

I told her that being weird is a good thing. It means you’re not like anyone else. So the next time someone calls you weird, you should say thank you. She laughed a delighted little giggle and I felt good, like I’d said the right thing at the right time.

As I was reveling in my parental sense of accomplishment, my daughter turned over, laughed again, and deliberately farted on me.

I couldn’t sum up parenthood more perfectly if I tried.

OneCrazyMummy

I might as well change this blog’s name to OneCrazyMummy because with baby #2 on the way I won’t be sane for a long time.

Yes, it’s official — the hubby and I are expecting a brother or sister for our darling daughter sometime in September. We’ve had awhile to get used to the idea of two little rugrats running around but sometimes the fear hits us out of nowhere. We’ll be out on a walk and suddenly realize there will be two drooly faces to wipe…(not to mention two dirty butts).

We realize that once this baby gets here, making us a party of four, we won’t be making any kind of reservations or leaving the house period. The hubby already scoffs at how much stuff is required just to make a simple outing to the park. Weighted down with multiple bags on his arms and the stroller in tow, he asks if the amount of stuff will double with the new addition. Duh! Like with everything else, it will become our new normal I guess.

This wasn’t exactly planned nor was it unplanned but we’re very excited for our growing family. Sure we have our moments of “what the hell are we thinking?!?!” but the thought of our daughter having a sibling so close in age eases those fears. At least until she’s a teenager and wants nothing to do with her brother or sister (or her parents, for that matter). Did I mention I was going to have myself committed by the time she hits thirteen anyway? A nice padded room with no sharp objects, just a bed and a pillow. That sounds like heaven!