Bad Days

As a new mom, I consider myself lucky since I haven’t had too many days where I feel like gouging my eyes out with an ice pick or tearing all the hair out of my head from frustration. Believe me I’ve had my moments, but they’ve been few and far between.

This morning, I wasn’t so lucky.

Whether it’s the damn time change or that another top tooth is on its way, my daughter hasn’t been herself for the past couple days. She again woke earlier than normal this morning and would not go back to sleep as is the routine. This extra-early start to our day was not a good sign, yet I hadn’t given up all hope yet.

It was after her 3o minute catnap that I knew it would be the morning from hell. There was no way that was enough sleep to ward off the cranky demon baby that takes over my daughter when she’s extremely tired or starving to death.

I hadn’t showered yet and I wasn’t up for the circus of getting ready while trying to keep her entertained and out of harm’s way while trying to brush my teeth and put on deodorant. I was already too exhausted. But I had no other choice.

In her seat she sat while I tried to reenergize in the shower. I found I could muffle her fussy cries by letting the water run over my head and ears just so. It was bliss for a couple minutes…until I had to get out. The fussing continued even when I was in sight. It stopped when I picked her up, reminding me of our days when she was a newborn. (I barely ever put her down then.)

As I placed her on the floor so I could get dressed, she broke down. She did the silent cry that breaks my heart every time: eyes squeezed shut, mouth open in horror, body trembling. It’s like the clap of thunder after the bolt of lightning. You wait and wait, then boom!

So I scooped her back up and there we sat on my bed, both of us wailing away for no better reason than we were so very tired.

Soon after she fell asleep, allowing us the reprieve we needed to start fresh and salvage what was left of the day.

When I opened her door to her bright rested eyes, she smiled at me like nothing had ever happened. And I fell in love with her all over again, like I do every single day.