Everyone Poops (But Usually Not in the Tub)

This post practically wrote itself.

My daughter pooped while sitting in her high chair as I spoon-fed her winter squash and plums. She alerted me to her deed by flashing her poop face: an intense focused look. Then she grunted, confirming my suspicions.

This led me to a great idea.

The hubby and I should record her the next time she decides to let one loose while eating dinner, then on her prom night we can play it before she and her date go off to the dance. With that image in his mind, he won’t try to get to third base. He’ll be too grossed out and she’ll be too embarrassed. It’s the perfect strategy.

But it seems she had the last laugh.

We finished up dinner and I ran her bath. Her newest thing is to pull herself up on the side of the tub. Before you tell me she shouldn’t be standing in the tub…I know. But she’s obsessed with doing it, so I let her. Spotting her the entire time. I should have known something was going on because she wasn’t slapping the tub like she normally does. She got quiet and before I knew it, her poop face reappeared.

Next thing I knew, there were 2 brown trout swimming in the tub with a third on its way. I laughed hysterically, calling the hubby in to bear witness. His first reaction was to take a picture, not clean it up. Naturally. So before she had time to finish her duty I picked her up, covered her butt with a wash cloth, and hurried to the changing table.

This was the first time she’d ever taken a dump in the bath. Even when she was a newborn–pooping every 2 minutes–she never had this kind of accident. So it’s totally fitting that she did it on a night when I try to devise a plan to ruin her prom night seventeen years from now.

Too-shay, baby. Too-shay.