I was at a birthday party recently where a little girl showed up wearing something reserved for sleeping, paired with her favorite rain boots. I tried my best not to do a double take and blurt out, “What is that child wearing?” as it was clearly the middle of the day, no rain was in sight, and it was not a slumber party. I wasn’t about to judge her mother outright (but inside my head was a different story).
Only babies and elderly people can get away with wearing their pajamas out of the house. Anyone in between should know better, or at least their mothers should know better. But this mom was not of the same mindset. She wasn’t even the slightest bit embarrassed that her kid wasn’t wearing actual clothes. She acknowledged it, saying it wasn’t a big deal because this was her second kid. She confessed it would’ve bothered her with her first though. But now she’s much more laid back.
Laid back or overwhelmed, I wondered.
I don’t want to be the kind of mom who stifles creativity or smother’s my daughter’s wishes, but if I let her do whatever she wants whenever she wants, aren’t I setting myself up for a spoiled brat who can’t handle authority? Shouldn’t she know there are certain rules she needs to follow? Like getting dressed…I mean, hel-lo.
I’m well aware that a fussy baby usually gets whatever will make her happy and quiet, but at some point, a mummy has to put her foot down, right? Or is it all about choosing your battles? Someday I might have to let her wear a superhero cape 24/7 because it’ll be the only way to get her to clean her room? Or listen to her iPod while we eat dinner for fear of a hunger strike?
I’m sure my time is coming. And when it does, I will resort to the classic line every mother through time has used — “Because I said so!”
8 thoughts on “My Time is Coming”
I think I’d have the same thought if I’d see that. I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t leave the house with sweatpants and Uggs on. I have and I’m not denying it will happen again… but I feel entitled to it in some respects. When you’re getting a child ready to go out there’s a lot more preparation involved, and usually we’ve already had to do some chores before getting ready to leave the house. But regardless of the lack of time I have for myself I don’t let my fourteen month old daughter leave the house without being dressed and have her hair pinned back in a bow. Of course now she doesn’t have an opinion but when the time comes I plan on introducing three or four acceptable outfit choices. This way she’ll have a say in what she’s wearing but still look presentable. Plus why wouldn’t you want to take pride in your child when he/she’s looking her best?
There’s nothing wrong with sweat pants and Uggs! That’s lounge wear, not pajamas ; ) But yes, I know what you mean. I always dress my daughter in an outfit rather than a sleeper or pajamas when we go out. That’s a good idea to present 3 or 4 choices…that way they feel included in the process. I’ll have to do that when she gets older. My hang-up with this issue must come from my own childhood and how my mom always had my outfits coordinated and matching, even down to the socks.
Thanks for reading!
I think we all probably have that reaction to something we see other moms doing at some point or another. But karma is nothing if not reliable. I have judged and I have been judged by others. Neither is much fun, really.
And you are totally right about choosing battles and deciding where and when to put your foot down. It’s interesting to see which battles you’ll choose, and which your mommy friends will choose.
I know, I think about that word karma a lot when I come across moments like these. It’s almost as if I can see myself years down the road dealing with the same exact issues and wondering where I’ll be at in my life with the decisions I face….ugh.
You’re right, it will be very interesting to see where my parenting path leads me. : )
Been there. Done that. Even said the four dirty words you mention. Yet, for the most part I cave. I suppose I figure that’s one of the short lived beauties of children, they just don’t care what other people think. They have their whole adult life to worry about fitting in and social norms so for now I’ll be the Momma hanging with Batman.
You’re right! To not give a care would be the best feeling in the world! Unfortunately for me, I’m not there yet. But I aspire to be!
I will probably cave too. Plus, the way you said it is very sweet (hanging with Batman) and if that’s my daughter, what other choice do I have but to love her for her uniqueness? : )
lol! i’m the pick my battles kind of mom… who cares what he wears? i have a husband i stopped trying to dress decently years ago; why not add a kid to the mix? as long as there are no chains/ black nail polish/ or skulls when he’s older, i’m happy. pajamas are the least of my worries. now the iPod at the dinner table– NO way. family time is family time. i suppose we all have our limits…
Hehehe! Yeah, when you put it that way, pajamas would be the least of my worries too. : )