Don’t You Judge Me

“Don’t you judge me” is my new mom motto. As much as I think it, it should be tattooed on my forehead. Or maybe just printed on a T-shirt for me to wear every single day.

This morning a plumber came to install a toilet and a sink in our master bathroom. He didn’t look like any plumber I’d seen before. He was missing a beer belly and that famous plumber’s crack…thank god!

Having any kind of handyman in the house gives me anxiety. So it’s safe to say I was a big ball of awkward. Throw a tired, cranky baby in the mix and I was even more on edge.

Naturally, the plumber showed up right when my daughter was to take her morning nap. Lately I’ve been putting her down while she’s still awake so she can learn to put herself to sleep. She usually cries for a couple minutes before conking out. I’ve become immune to those cries.

Sure enough, as soon as I closed the door behind me, a wail erupted from the depths of her bowels. A scream I’ve never heard before. Someone was surely torturing her. That was the only logical conclusion. So I went back in. She was fine. To the contrary of her screams, no-one was killing her. I placed her back down and told her it was nap time. As soon as I left, the same god-awful shriek.

It’s not enough to allow a stranger into your home to judge your living conditions, but now that I’m a mom, my parenting skills are on full display and up for debate. I just knew this guy was judging me as an unfit parent for letting my baby cry. But what he doesn’t know is that’s how we roll.

She was asleep within a minute, and I could finally exhale.

Needless to say, she woke up 40 minutes later thanks to the plumber banging around in the bathroom.

As I signed the check over, holding my daughter on one side, he looked at her and said, “So that’s the little one who was crying. Never knew such a loud sound could come out of a tiny person.” I wanted to give him my best “Don’t you judge me” look, but like always with these guys, I just gave a nervous laugh and said, “Yep. That was her. Not a fan of napping.”

See, if I had that tattoo or that shirt, he would’ve gotten my message loud and clear.

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5 thoughts on “Don’t You Judge Me

  1. I used to be one of those people, I hate to admit it that thought it was easy to calm a fussy baby, or that when a baby was crying in public (for example) there was something more the mom could do. Boy, was I wrong — babies cry for all kinds of reasons. That’s how they communicate. I now wonder about those moms who brag about their babies that never cry, why? I wonder…

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    • Other people’s crying babies used to irritate me, but now that I know what those other moms are going through, I’m much more understanding. A crying baby is a difficult thing to deal with no matter what, but when you love them unconditionally it makes things a little easier. : )

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  2. Pingback: Babies Cry, Oh Yes They Do. | mommypatter

  3. That kind of thing drives me crazy. My 9-year-old didn’t sleep longer than 2 hours until she was six months old. If I had a nickel for every smug mother of a good sleeper who instructed me patiently to just put her down, I would have her Harvard tuition in the bank.

    What I wanted to say was, “I have read all the books and tried everything. The reason your child sleeps is that YOU WON THE LOTTERY!”

    Ok, I need to breathe.

    Everyone walks their own road as a parent. Barring signs of obvious neglect, everyone else should mind their own business. But wait, does that mean I am juding the judgers? Uh oh.

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