How do I
force teach my daughter not to be a mean girl? I would be devastated if she was the schoolyard bully or the Queen of the Snobs, but I don’t want her to be the victim of these girls either. It’s a tricky subject because I’m sure peer pressure has a lot to do with it. Thank god I’m nowhere near having to actually figure this one out, but it’s already giving me anxiety. My niece, who is only six, is already encountering “girl crap” as my sister-in-law likes to call it. The drama, the tears, and the attitudes…hormones aren’t even involved yet. Yikes! I wish I could just skip over years twelve through eighteen. Boarding school anyone? No, I could never send my daughter away. Who could afford that? I mean, I would miss her too much — yeah that’s it!
I wasn’t a mean girl growing up (at least not intentionally) but I had my share of mean moments. Nothing like writing nasty things about other girls in bathroom stalls or starting scandalous rumors, but I remember getting in fights with my friend who lived next door. We’d ride our bikes all over and play Monopoly after school. There was one day we started quarreling over who knows what. Hair was pulled, shins were kicked, and bikes were knocked to the ground. It was ugly. Then, the next day we were back to Monopoly again.
I don’t remember apologizing, but we probably did. Did her mom call mine and tell her about our scuffle? Or were we left to work it out on our own? I don’t know, but according to my mom, kids fight. They love each other one minute, hate each other the next, and have moved on in the blink of an eye. When parents start meddling, that’s when the real problems begin. She’s right because if another mom approached me about my daughter’s behavior you better believe my Mama Bear claws would come out.
I know my daughter will have her share of spats and I wish I could protect her from all of it, but I can’t keep her in a bubble…or could I? Hmmmm….