Some popular sites on Twitter put out these “best of the best” weekly lists so if one of your tweets is chosen and included it’s kind of a big deal (but also not really). Being on these lists and then not being on these lists can take a toll on your tweet-writing confidence (at least it has for me). So I’ve decided to make my own list, damnit! Here are my top 3 tweets from this past week.

Ok, maybe I have my percentages backwards or maybe it’s more like a 50/50 split. One thing I know for sure is that in parenthood there’s always a lot of crap on the floor.

My kids have amazing selective hearing and incredibly poor timing.

Starting immediately! I never knew going to the bathroom alone was a luxury until I became a parent.

Hope you enjoyed this week’s tweets. I’m sure my kids will frustrate inspire me to write even better ones next week.